Spike

Things were so bloody different, I was ‘bout ready to just take a soddin’ hike. Seriously. Alec was dead, Buffy was gone, and I was out of the beach house and stayin’ at the Slayer school with Ralphie. Yes, that annoying ankle biter that I had gotten Buffy for her birthday, or Valentines, or some rot like that. Didn’t much matter now, the twit split, goin’ off to fight something or another, a vampire, demons, her own demons. Who knew this week. There was always somethin’ goin’ on with her and maybe right now the time apart will do us good. After all, before she left, we were estranged. Barely back together. It didn’t feel the same anymore. So when she told me she had to go, I didn’t stop her, didn’t try to talk her away from it, just let her go, although now I have a thing or two to say to her cause of the damn mutt.

Usually, I’d sit around, feelin’ sorry for myself, but like I said, I didn’t try to stop her. I just let her go. By now I’d be in a drunken stupor, talkin’ to walls or the like, but no. Instead, I was goin’ through files in my office. Right, because that’s much better, yeah? I looked over a few of the girls, namely Paris and Lucy, actually, I spent a lot of time on Lucy’s and I was sure she was due of that baby anytime now. Perhaps I should go and see how she was doin’. I raised my eyebrow though when I heard footsteps and after a minute, I sat back, waitin’ on her to say something, oh, I don’t know, Cordelia like.

Right. Kennedy up and went as well.

Looked as though Cordelia was goin’ to pass my office on by, but she backtracked and now she was standing in front of my desk. Gave her a look or two before plopping Lucy’s file on top of the rest and I leaned back in my chair, looking at her.

“You look more pathetic than me, love,” I said with a half smirk.


[Cordelia]

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The pain was the first thing I noticed. Unbelievable soddin’ pain. Like somethin’ from inside of me was gettin’ ripped out, but once it was over, I figured out exactly what got ripped out. The soul that I fought so hard for, been through certain tests to get, for her. The ungrateful Slayer bitch who took good ole Spikey for granted. What would she think of me now? She’d surely throw me out onto the street if she didn’t before. I didn’t have a soul, I wasn’t good enough for the likes of her and her holier than thou attitude. I almost shed a tear, but instead, my main thought was to finally snap her neck. No, no, I’d tie her to a chair and torture her for hours. Eh, even that would be no fun because she’d just complain the whole time and the sound of her rottin’ voice these days made me insides crawl and not in the good way like they used to. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that somethin’ was different between us, but it wasn’t just from her end, it was from my end too. We were however, goin’ to go on holiday to some other country, just the two of us. Now? I was the one who was goin’ to go on holiday and to go see a precious lil’ girl of mine. I’ve missed her so.

Walkin’ into the house that the Slayer and I shared, I called for the bitch and she came walkin’ down the stairs, all leisurely like. Tiltin’ my head, I just watched her. Somethin’ was funny about her too, I could tell. I couldn’t sniff a soul on her, that one little thing that everyone has to possess to be determined if they were a good kitty or a mean kitty. A soul never proved anything and I think I was the one who distinguished that for the Slayer years ago, but now? I was just bloody well pissed off and she was my main focus.

“Slayer,” I purred, a slight grin on my face, but even lookin’ at her, I knew I couldn’t do it. Slayer whipped with a soul and whipped without, but she was much more bright without her soul.

“Shopping you said. Well, right. Although we do have a stop to make.”

I killed a couple Slayer’s in my glory days, I guess I could say, but now there was a Slayer school, where hundreds of them roamed.

And now I had an all you can eat pass to the tastiest eatery in town and it was all for me.

[open to buffy and then lucy and then ryan and then seth. yum.]

Happy Father's day, DA!

I couldn’t stand it anymore. This therapy thing that Buffy and I are trying out? Yeah, it doesn’t quite work as well. Seemed we were much better off before any of it and now we’re so pissed off at eachother that I’ve left the house and gone to Angel’s. I’m tired of not being appreciated. The wenches at the school mock me all day; apparently it’s okay because Buffy does it. Where else would they get it from? Buffy starts it, they finish it. I come home and it’s complaining and this and that and I can’t take it anymore, but of course, I’m the soddin’ jerk right?

‘Don’t come back until you’re done being a jerk.’

Whatever, Buffy. Told her where to go and then I left.

Of course, I do in fact love her when she’s being a bitch, but this? Her knowing exactly what to do to push at my buttons (and not in the good way) isn’t the way to go. I know that tomorrow I’ll be comin’ home and beggin’ her and grovelin’ at her feet, but tonight was a different story. I left, gone to Angel’s to rightly get so pissed that I couldn’t see straight, but to also talk to him about Harry. Before Harry left, he told me to look after Angel. Yep, Harry told me to look after him and I haven’t got the faintest idea what the hell is goin’ on. I’ve heard rumors around the school and I even hung out with Faith and Kennedy the other night, but I haven’t asked. I like gossip as much as the next bloke, but I know when not to ask questions.

It didn’t take me long to get to Angel’s and once I parked, I grabbed the three bottles I took from our cabinet and tucked them close to me with me arm before gettin’ out of the car. Marchin’ right up, I walked myself right inside. I was about to yell for Angel, but there he was. Waiting.

Ponce.

“Lookit you,” I grinned and walked over, takin’ the bottles from my grasp and placin’ them on the table. “Right, I came over to complain about Buffy, but I’m sure you’re tired of hearin’ about it and I’m done talkin’ about it. You know how she is, you were with her first after all. Stubborn chit she is. Let’s just get right pissed because it seems that both of us need it …” I trailed off and looked at him. I would think he would if the rumors were right. And if how Faith was acting the other night was something to go on, then yeah. I’d say he could use a drink himself.

(Open to Angel if he so wishes)

I'm comin' over.

THERAPY DOES NOT WORK.

List ten things that are annoying about your significant other:

1. She's a brat.
2. She hates to give in.
3. She thinks she's always right, no matter what.
4. She walks away and holds things inside.
5. She knows exactly what to do or say to hurt me.
6. She fights to be on top - well, sometimes that isn't exactly annoying.
7. She plays that dreadful pop music far too often where even I hum the words.
8. Ralphie.
9. She's a smart ass.
10. She can be the biggest bitch on the planet.

List ten things your find desirable about your significant other:

1. She's beautiful, inside and out.
2. She's a Slayer.
3. She can hold her own.
4. She knows how to make it hurt just right.
5. She treats me like a man.
6. She chose me.
7. Her body is like a machine, but it's so delicate and right sexy.
8. She argues with me and likes a good fight.
9. She lets me take care of her.
10. She knows my past, she knows what I've done and she accepts me for what I was and what I am now.

I was soddin’ pathetic. Pathetic! I’d been over this time and time again, but I still can’t shake it. It was Angel. ANGEL. Angel and Buffy workin’ together day in and day out and ‘Oh! Me and Angel did this,’ or ‘Ooh, you won’t believe what me and Angel found.’ I couldn’t stand it and I couldn’t stand the fact that Buffy still isn’t home yet. I called the office, lookin’ around for her and I didn’t get an answer and I called her cell and still nothin’. I wasn’t worried, I knew she’d be alright, but still … I couldn’t help but be jealous.

Sittin’ on the couch, I watched the telly and waited for her to get home. When I heard her car pullin’ up, I waited and waited until she finally came walkin’ in the house. Narrowin’ my eyes, I watched her closely and could already smell Angel all around. (Sucks bein’ a vampire, I’ll tell you.) But, she looked so tired and I knew … knew that Angel wouldn’t dare … she wouldn’t – would she? I was startin’ to question everything just because they were workin’ together and I felt … ashamed.

Balls.

Right arse, I was.

I didn’t say anything about how I was feelin’. It didn’t matter because I knew that at the end of the day, she’d be coming home to me and not to him.

And if she ever did … right, I didn’t want to think about that.

Instead, I smiled, asked her if she needed anything after givin’ her a kiss and walked her upstairs so tomorrow I could feel ashamed all over again.

How bloody fantastic.